Welp, going to be a busy weekend filled with reading, research, and hopefully some paper writing. Not too much to report - pretty homesick, but also super excited for summer (looking at it as my last summer of freedom).
Hopefully ALL of this happens:
Farmer's Markets
Lots of Kayaking and Fishing and Backpacking
Roadtrips -> Durango
Telluride Music Festival
Hopefully Streets of Afghanistan a 2nd time in Breckenridge
Trip Home in August
Concerts at Red Rocks -> Guster, Avett Brothers
Less exciting... Job searching and applying - Trying to combine my love of human rights, the environment/wilderness, and possibly agriculture. Trying to also stay open to all sectors too.
Rio graduated her Beginner Training from Petsmart tonight. She has done so well and is SO smart. Wouldn't trade her for the world. So proud of my little pup.
Ballet tomorrow night - should be fun and inspiring. Fell in love with ballet when I went for the first time this year. Trying to do more things for me, and this is one of them.
Went for a hike this week and did pretty well, although I am severely out of shape! Let myself go since starting grad school. Goal is to start running, small distances/times, maybe sprints - just being outside and having fun with it. I'm finding life is all about steps and processes and learning - change doesn't happen over night, and I have A LOT of passions, cares and goals - so I need steps and time to accomplish everything.
Anyways, I know not all of this is that exciting - but I decided I need a forum to speak, about whatever I need to. This quarter has been so hard, like I said in my last post. I'm floored by what I am learning - for instance, that Native American children were sent, at times forcibly, to boarding schools across the country. I am doing a multi-media project on this, and am excited to paint for the first time in a year. I'll post pics when it's finished - long way to go though.
I am just so disturbed and disgusted with what's happened in the past, and what still continues now. I could be wrong, but I feel like humans are not learning as a whole, and across the board we continue to fail one another and fail this planet. Part of me wants to go live in the woods as a hermit and part of me wants to save the world. Clearly, the 2nd part wins every time. But what does save the world really mean? I think it means doing your part, living for you - but being respectful of others. I think it starts small, local, neighborly, on the family and friend scale. Because if it doesn't start there than how are we ever going to solve the big, world problems? We need to do the small things, and really care about one another - move on from silly judgments and prejudices. We need to stop saying we are going to save people, and help them - and learn that people need support, maybe guidance, but when given the right tools and skills, they can save and help themselves. Don't get me wrong - I am no saint, and still catch myself sometimes and think, ugh. But I think the way the world's changing, we all need to be on board. Just sayin'.
Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend, even if it's spent with your face in books - make sure you do something for you and see some sunshine :) Thanks for reading, if ya made it this far <3
Friday, April 22, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Catching Up...
So, it's late here - I had this nagging feeling tonight, more than I have since my last post, (a long time ago) to start writing on my blog again. It's been so long that I forgot how to sign in.
Things have changed, massively. I started and am almost finished graduate school. Almost finishing means that there are so many unknowns ahead of me. While I am trying to stay grounded, and positive, it is not always easy. My mind has been reeling about a number of things lately, from the state of the world (this is a big one...), stressing about finishing all of my readings (there are so many), to finding a job, figuring out where I want to be, if I can be there and find work, what I need in the working world to make me happy - some take priority over others, figuring out my last 'summer of freedom,' and letting myself feel whatever emotions I need to feel about things.
I am hurting, literally - had 2 moles cut off/out today. Stomach and as lovely as it is, under my right armpit. I know... it doesn't feel great. Yet another reason why it's past midnight and I'm up typing. That, coupled with all of my stresses just equal me being up and down, tired, cranky, and yearning for something more.
I found out today my parents will be putting the house, the house I call 'home, home,' up for sale probably by the end of August. I knew they were planning on selling it, but the fact that there is a date now just makes me feel incredibly sad. It's just a house right? I am so thankful I grew up with a creek behind my house, so many memories there. Two of our family dogs are buried in the woods behind our house. There used to be a swing set on the edge of the woods that slowly started rotting away since my sister and I are long past days when you play on swing sets. I used to play pretend games all over the yard, in the old barn that sits in front of the house, in the pool... and that yard served amazingly well for late night games of kick the can, and others I can't remember the names of. So many bonfires and s'mores and hot cider. And my grandmothers lives right next door. When I think of that, and know that her house is so old, that when she's gone it'll be torn down... just writing this brings me to tears. Something new will be built in its' place, and only the people who were around before will remember that old house. My grandfather built a lot of that house - I just learned that this past Christmas. I wish I knew more things like that about my family. Never too late I guess.
It's funny how structures and material things can mean so much to us... I wish they didn't.
I have been trying to cleanse my life, and started with small steps. Eating better, and trying to cut out meat as much as possible, and going through my closet and selling what I can, clothes and shoes I don't wear, and donating the rest. I realized my footprint was larger than I wanted it to be, so I am trying to change that. Next is taking shorter showers...
I have been asking myself a lot of questions lately, and worrying a lot. Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying myself too - from cooking and making meals at home (like tasty blueberry pancakes tonight), and making time to play with our 6 month old pup, Rio, in the park, sitting outside to read in my crazy creek chair, and doing little things to keep me smiling. But overall, this quarter at school has been rough for me. And I felt I needed to start writing again. So here I am.
Things have changed, massively. I started and am almost finished graduate school. Almost finishing means that there are so many unknowns ahead of me. While I am trying to stay grounded, and positive, it is not always easy. My mind has been reeling about a number of things lately, from the state of the world (this is a big one...), stressing about finishing all of my readings (there are so many), to finding a job, figuring out where I want to be, if I can be there and find work, what I need in the working world to make me happy - some take priority over others, figuring out my last 'summer of freedom,' and letting myself feel whatever emotions I need to feel about things.
I am hurting, literally - had 2 moles cut off/out today. Stomach and as lovely as it is, under my right armpit. I know... it doesn't feel great. Yet another reason why it's past midnight and I'm up typing. That, coupled with all of my stresses just equal me being up and down, tired, cranky, and yearning for something more.
I found out today my parents will be putting the house, the house I call 'home, home,' up for sale probably by the end of August. I knew they were planning on selling it, but the fact that there is a date now just makes me feel incredibly sad. It's just a house right? I am so thankful I grew up with a creek behind my house, so many memories there. Two of our family dogs are buried in the woods behind our house. There used to be a swing set on the edge of the woods that slowly started rotting away since my sister and I are long past days when you play on swing sets. I used to play pretend games all over the yard, in the old barn that sits in front of the house, in the pool... and that yard served amazingly well for late night games of kick the can, and others I can't remember the names of. So many bonfires and s'mores and hot cider. And my grandmothers lives right next door. When I think of that, and know that her house is so old, that when she's gone it'll be torn down... just writing this brings me to tears. Something new will be built in its' place, and only the people who were around before will remember that old house. My grandfather built a lot of that house - I just learned that this past Christmas. I wish I knew more things like that about my family. Never too late I guess.
It's funny how structures and material things can mean so much to us... I wish they didn't.
I have been trying to cleanse my life, and started with small steps. Eating better, and trying to cut out meat as much as possible, and going through my closet and selling what I can, clothes and shoes I don't wear, and donating the rest. I realized my footprint was larger than I wanted it to be, so I am trying to change that. Next is taking shorter showers...
I have been asking myself a lot of questions lately, and worrying a lot. Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying myself too - from cooking and making meals at home (like tasty blueberry pancakes tonight), and making time to play with our 6 month old pup, Rio, in the park, sitting outside to read in my crazy creek chair, and doing little things to keep me smiling. But overall, this quarter at school has been rough for me. And I felt I needed to start writing again. So here I am.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)